Zombie Walking-EDIT 12/20

I’m laying in an empty tub, unable to move.

For two days; brain fog, stiff, slow, in pain, feeling every year my license says I am. So I’ll soak in a tub. Feeling heavy. Tub drains, and I don’t want to get up. My girl is worse off, passed out on the living room floor. We did this to ourselves. Why?

Basic premise of raw dieting-the body can’t handle cooked food, can’t break it down for nutrients. Clogs up the works. I had two pieces of foccacia, a quart of granola, stir fry veggies in garlic sauce with rice. She had some home cooked Spanish food.

Yeah, I’m a dietary wuss. Really, steamed veggies? Yup. At least she had meat. Wheatgrass juice, take me away.

Talked to my best friend about the blog. This is a guy I respect highly, especially when it comes to words. He’s read as much as I have, and spends more time reading blogs and news than I do actual paid work. Got me thinking about the writers’ voice and style. How I developed a sound as a musician. Back to how I learned to talk and read. How we all learn anything.

We’re all a bunch of unoriginal copycats.

For awhile anyway. Without knowing something exists we can’t even think about getting better at it. I can’t improve my Spanish if I’ve never heard of Spanish. We hear, then babble, then copy, improve, keep copying, and can eventually hold a conversation. Every activity is no different. Driving, sex, basketball, Halo, parenting-I guess- and writing.

But sometimes we quit before we can consider ourselves good enough. Sometimes we need encouragement, sometimes a push.

So now I’m a toddler, drunk-like walking around till I hit my head on a coffe table. I plan on crying a bit, then getting up. I like the idea of walking around.


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