The Day After

It’s a bit difficult following up a post where you tell people you almost killed yourself. It may come off as dramatic, but considering I lost a friend of mine who hit her head in the shower a year ago to the month, it’s how I see it.

So what do I write?

Do I have any great insight into life? Does everything change? Am I a new man?

No much more than I had before…Not everything…everyday I change and grow, hopefully…

I still believe in active change, seeking out new experiences and experimenting. But I need to temper some of my actions with thoughts. The challenge comes in balance; not so little thought so as to repeat past mistakes, but not so much as to repeat the paralysis by analysis trap.

My girl, besides being a cool cookie under pressure, offered some sound advice between (well deserved) smacks and punches: Clearer goals with clearer steps towards completing them. I was running so many experiments I couldn’t see where they were conflicting. Some prioritizing is in the near future.

I have been on a path for almost 4 years now. I saw a painful and short existence for myself, and set out to change that. I have, so now every day is special. I have no desire to give up what I have gained. I move forward with every decision. Poor choices become lessons and stepping-stones to better choices. Thoughts and actions unite to give me direction and power.

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