I didn’t post on Friday as I usually do. Truth was, and is, that I don’t know what to write.
The weekend was a lot of reflection with my girl. We talked about how and why I’ve changed, my tendencies towards experiments and taking them as far as I do. How my actions don’t always match up with my goals, due to experiments. These, and some other topics have put me in a self-imposed time out: sitting in a corner thinking about what I’ve done, and I shouldn’t come out till I’ve learned my lesson.
I’m learning that this is who I am.
I’m crazy. I will take some things as far as I see fit. I will say things that offend, which means I say a lot less or I’m see a lot less. I get unfocused when I get excited; this needs to change a bit. It hurts me and others and that’s not good.
Falling flat on your face (or your back in a tub) can be a demoralizing event. You look at yourself in a moment of failure and all you see is faliure…sometimes. But if you look past it you can see an opportunity to grow, to change, to learn. In the least you can learn what doesn’t work. At most you get a chance to change before things go so far out they can’t be changed.
Nutrition, fitness, work and career, money, lifestyle, methods for growth and experiments, relationships…all these important aspects of my life are up for redefinition. It’s an exciting and scary time. It’s time to see what’s at the core of who I am.